I had an experience that I wanted to share. Last week was not my week. You know when one thing happens and it seems like it started a rock slide of everything going wrong. Me being me, I wasn't going to let it get me down, but it was hard. It hurts when the very things you like about yourself are turned around on you and seen as a bad thing. Then it seems everyone is against you. I even let stupid little things get to me. Like the fact that the boys didn't come over for sleepover night bug me. Which was in my rational mind completely fine because I got Joe two weeks ago, but in this fog I let it turn into some kind of conspiracy. So I did what people aways do when depression hits, "No body likes me, Everyone hates me, might as well go out in the garden and eat worms."
Then on Saturday morning I was woken up by a thunder storm. Stubby and I went to my front door to watch. Right over my house was a big black rain cloud, but the sun was still able to shine just over the mountain onto my house. Then it started to rain really big drops. With the sun shining through them made it look like thousands of little diamonds falling from the sky. It made me appreciate how beautiful the elements can be when they come together. It wasn't the same as seeing a rainbow, but that this was beautiful in it's own way. Like me. I am a strong, independent, optimistic person that has a mind of my own. I like who I am and wouldn't change a thing.
Now maybe because of these things people think they can say and do what ever they want to me because it won't hurt me, but that's not the case. I have feelings that get hurt just as easily as anyone else. I know so many people that have problems of their own. Why add to their sadness. So I try to be the sunshine in their life not the rain cloud.
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2 comments:
(((((JENNY))))))
You ARE a ray of sunshine! And you are VERY loved!! 'specially by me!! MUAH!
~~H.
p.s. I just love those little whisperings Heavenly Father sends to let us know He loves us too! That is awesome! I could almost imagine it! Very neat!
Jenny, I love you and think of you often. Though we're not close in distance, you're close to my heart and I think of you (and Heather) as my "sister". I'm with Heather, it is nice when Heavenly Father sends those reminders of who we are and that He loves us. We need those from time to time to remind us that we are His children and he is aware of our needs.
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